Comparison Is The Thief of Joy... (And Growth)

(3 Steps To Free Yourself Now)

Author

Matt Harriman
September 11, 2023

You’re lying in bed after a stressful yet productive day.

Despite feeling exhausted, you’re proud.

“I made progress today!”, you say to yourself excitedly…

Then, you get on social media.

Instantly you are bombarded with young & successful guys who are flaunting their money and lifestyles and immediately get down on yourself.

The feeling of accomplishment fades away and all you are left with is self-pity.

This is the story of many entrepreneurs & creators.

You feel stuck, constantly comparing yourself to others, even if they are at Level 20 while you are on Level 2.

After all…

source: cbsnews.com

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Theodore Roosevelt

The Problem With Comparison.

While it’s great to emulate what successful people are doing, there’s one MAJOR problem with comparing yourself to others…

There’s always going to be somebody with more.

Whether that’s…

  • more money

  • a better physique

  • more knowledge

  • cooler sh*t

You will most likely never be the creme de la creme at everything…it’s nearly impossible.

That’s why it’s so important that you only focus on your own growth; not what everyone else is doing.

It took me years to realize the importance of NOT comparing yourself to others, but the sad truth?

Most people never realize it.

Comparison Steals From The Rich & Successful Too.

Mike is a successful 45-year-old lawyer with a wife and kids.

He spent the better part of his life grinding, hustling, and maneuvering his way up the ladder of success to get to where he is today.

Now he’s earning $500,000 a year, lives in a $1,000,000 home, drives a performance BMW, and can afford to take his family on luxurious vacations every year.

But guess what? He’s still not happy…

Mike goes golfing with a friend. His friend casually mentions to him that he just crossed $50,000,000 in net worth and bought his second waterfront property….and he’s only 35 years old.

A feeling kicks in that he hasn’t felt since he was in his 20s…

“I’m a failure”….

To compensate, Mike takes a loan out for a $200,000 Porsche 911 Turbo and starts flexing it to everyone in his life…

This story (which I just made up btw) reminds me of a popular TikTok skit series called ‘Rich vs. Really Rich’ by a finance content creator named Nicholas Crown.

Case Study: Nicholas Crown’s ‘Rich vs. Really Rich’ Series.

‘The Rich Guy’

The first character, ‘The Rich Guy’, is depicted as greedy, selfish, and a poor decision-maker.

He constantly tries to prove he is wealthy and treats everyone like he’s better than them.

Almost always, he loses in the end of the skits.

‘The Really Rich Guy’

The second character, ‘The Really Rich Guy’, is truly wealthy.

He invests his money wisely, does not flaunt his success, and treats everyone with respect regardless of their status.

The Main Takeaway

Though he doesn’t directly reference the idea of comparison in any of the skits, it is clear that the ‘rich guy’ is stuck in the trap of comparison.

On the other hand, the ‘really rich’ guy understands that it’s simply a game of consistently improving yourself over a long time horizon.

As Alex Hormozi says…

If you’re interested, you can check out Nicholas’ Series here: https://www.tiktok.com/@nicholas_crown

Stop Focusing On Others. It’s Only You vs. You…

The game is simple: it’s only you vs. you.

Understanding this game is the only way to escape the misery of comparison.

Like Mike (and many others), people achieve success but it doesn’t satisfy them.

They are left craving more.

If you continue to compare yourself to others, you’ll end up sacrificing your own growth.

So that begs the question, how exactly can we stop comparing ourselves to others?

How to Free Yourself From The Misery of Comparison (In 3 Steps)

#1: Reflect & Reward Yourself. (The Key To Sustainable Growth)

Reflecting on your own journey is the only way to recognize growth.

Without it, your mind will become trapped in a false reality. Either it will trick you into believing you are doing better than you are or guilt trip you into thinking you aren’t doing enough…

Either way, it’s not beneficial to you.

Give yourself praise when you do something positive. Reflect on the negative.

This is the way to sustainable growth.

#2: Consume High-Quality Content.

You are what you consume.

If you are constantly taking in negative sh*t, you’re going to be a negative person.

The best way to keep yourself from consuming negative bullsh*t is by setting rules for yourself.

Go through your following and remove anyone who fits the following criteria:

  • If they aren’t providing you value, cut them out.

  • If they are making you jealous or hateful, cut them out.

  • If they are making a negative impact in your life AT ALL, cut them out.

Just hit that unfollow button.

#3: Focus on What You Can Control. (Take Your Own Path)

This is a fundamental pillar of stoicism.

There are only two things you can control:

  • How much you do.

  • How well you do it.

It makes no sense to compare yourself to others who are further ahead of you. 

Simply focus on improving yourself 1% every day and focus on your own path…

"If you can get 1% better each day for one year, you'll end up 37 times better by the time you're done."

James Clear

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this week’s letter, make sure to let me know!

Creatively yours,

Matt “F*ck Comparison” Harriman

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help:

  1. Grab my FREE self-reflection guide to break your burnout & make consistent progress in life & business easy.

  2. Check out my Consistency System which I’ve used to build amazing habits that have helped me scale my personal brand & add several pounds of muscle in the last 6 months.

  3. Book a 1-1 Strategy Session to gain clarity on your routine, habits, and systems.